


no place to call home

by ClockworkDinosaur



Series: Rosemary Month 2k17 [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Borderlands AU, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Rosemary Month, borderlands - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 18:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12326154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkDinosaur/pseuds/ClockworkDinosaur
Summary: Rose Lalonde has been on the move her entire life with her family. When danger threatens the lives of those she holds dear, she decides to make it on her own on the dangerous planet of Pandora.





	no place to call home

**Author's Note:**

> full disclosure: i love Borderlands a lot but I'll admit I'm not as in tune with the lore as I am with other games I usually write crossovers for. excuse any inaccuracies!
> 
> anyway yay for crossover week!

Pandora: a planet not for the faint of heart. Where it isn't a sweltering desert, it's a frigid tundra. Where it isn't tundra, it's crawling with creatures hiding in the greenery, ready to attack anyone brave or stupid enough to enter its domain.

Inhospitable as it is, it's still crawling with marauders.

“That was such a stupid fucking idea!” Dave Strider shouts, dodging bullets with the ease of someone who had been doing it for years. Rose Lalonde keeps pace, luck keeping her safe more than agility. Their booted feet kick up the orange desert dust, stinging their eyes and drying their mouths. At least the temperature at night makes running bearable.

“And whose idea was it?” she fires back breathlessly. If things get any worse she might have to take more drastic measures, something she would really rather not do.

It's hard to imagine a situation involving running from marauders before dawn getting worse, but Pandora is full of surprises.

Dave ignores her question and dodges his guilt. “Where the hell is Roxy?” he says. Weariness is beginning to take its toll, Rose pushes him out of the way just moments before a line of bullets tear through the ground between them where he had just been.

There's a mechanical roar behind them, growing louder until it drowns out the bullets and mad screams of their pursuers. Rose spares a glance backwards and almost collapses with gratitude.

“There.”

The eye-searingly pink rover barrels towards the two, its lights on high and engine echoing through the desert. Clouds of orange dust and the angered yells of the bandits follow in its wake. It barely stops while Rose and Dave clamber into the bed of the truck, chests heaving and legs weak. Roxy, two hands on the wheel and no eyes on the road, laughs.

“Damn, what a state you two are in!” she shouts over the air rushing by and the engine's scream. “What did you even do- no wait, don't tell me until we get back, Dirk's gonna wanna hear too, but like... holy shit. You two are a mess!”

“Yeah yeah, how 'bout you just pay attention to the damn road,” Dave grumbles from his position on the floor of the truck. Dust cakes his face, making his skin more orange than brown, and Rose shakes as much dirt from her blonde curls as possible. Roxy rolls her eyes but does make an effort to pay attention to where she's going.

The encampment isn't too far away. A shack, half-buried by sand and surrounded by spiderant hills, is lit by a barrel just inside. Its warmth will soon to be unbearable but the light is welcome. Roxy's vehicle roars to a stop and she leaps out with lazy gracefulness. She crosses her arms, gleaming metal over dark flesh, and watches Rose and Dave get out. Any joviality in her demeanor is gone, replaced with the reproachfulness of a guardian.

Rose can't help but feel scolded by her expression alone despite the fact that she is a grown woman and Roxy is only a few years older. She and her twin enter the shack, met with yet another disapproving expression from her older brother Dirk. He stands and pushes his triangular shades into his hair, unleashing the full power of his judgment. With Roxy by his side with an identical expression, Rose feels even more cowed.

“So,” Dirk starts.

“Before you begin you should know that Dave and I went out with only the purest of intentions,” Rose interrupts.

Dave nods emphatically. “Yeah, those assholes were the worst of the worst but we weren't gonna hurt them. Inconvenience them, yeah, but not injure.”

Roxy rolls her eyes and scoffs. “So why'd you sneak into their little shantytown under the cover of darkness, huh?”

Rose and Dave share a look. Now that they're confronted with what passes for authority figures in their lives, their idea seems even more idiotic than it had when they were chased by gun toting lunatics.

“They had a skag fighting ring,” Rose finally says. “Their conditions were beyond inhumane, not even a skag deserves that.”

“For fucks sake,” Dirk mutters, while Roxy pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Look, I'm just sayin', if we weren't always cooped up in these tiny-ass rust bucket shelters all the damn time, we wouldn't have to pull these crazy stunts just to give us something to do,” Dave points out.

“An astute observation,” Rose says.

“Thanks, I basically pulled that outta my ass,” he mutters.

“You know exactly why you two have to hide out,” Dirk says with a sigh, eyes flicking to Rose. For a moment, the only sound is the crackling of the fire. The stupidity of their stunt washes over Rose again and she wilts.

“It was my idea anyway,” she says. All eyes are on her, wide with surprise. “It's as Dave said, I was tired of being hidden away and was looking for an outlet. This opportunity arose and I dragged Dave along.”

It's clear by Roxy's expression that she doesn't believe a word of it, but she nods slowly anyway.

“You didn't...” she trails off and then wiggles her fingers. “Y'know.”

“No, I didn't use my powers,” Rose says, her jaw tight. “Despite what recent events would suggest, I am not a complete ignoramus.”

“Didn't say you were, Rosie. Just wanted to be sure,” Roxy says apologetically. Dirk clears his throat.

“We should all get some rest, we need to move out early,” he says. Rose is thankful, getting lectured at dawn is something she likes to avoid.

The four get settled in: Dave and Rose to one side of the shack, Roxy on the other, and Dirk sitting up by the fire to keep watch, his sword on his lap gleaming in the low light.

“You don't think those freaks figured anything out, do you?” Dave asks underneath his breath, just barely loud enough for Rose to hear despite being right beside him. She toys with the frayed hem of her shirt, the lilac sleeve going past her fingertips on her left arm.

“No, I was careful,” she says. “I am rather well versed in the art of running for my life without letting on to the fact that I am a Siren, after all.”

“Just making sure.” He shifts in his sleeping bag. “Night, Rose.”

“Goodnight, Dave.”

Curling up, Rose holds back a sigh. She would never admit it, but her siblings _just making sure_ about things will never stop being tedious. _Just making sure_ she hasn't used her powers, _just making sure_ the bright blue markings are concealed, _just making sure_ that nobody would ever know what she is.

A Siren. A mysterious and powerful being with strange powers. There are only a limited number in the universe at any given time. She should feel lucky, she should be thankful beyond words that she had been chosen.

Rose doesn't feel particularly lucky. Always on the run, always hiding from those who would use her for their own gain. What she feels is exhausted. She can't imagine what her siblings must feel, always protecting her, always moving for her benefit.

She hates it, but there is little else she can do.

 

The sound of faraway engines and Dirk's urgent whispering wakes Rose up at mid-morning. She sits upright quickly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and squinting into the bright room. Dirk and Roxy are standing, weapons ready. A huge rifle rests in Roxy's hands as naturally as another metal limb. Dirk's sword is a similar extension of himself, razor sharp and deadly.

“What's going on?” Rose asks. Roxy gives her a worried glance.

“Some assholes on wheels headed this way. Dunno if they're just passin' through or...” She trails off, the natural _or if they're looking for us_ left unspoken.

“Shit,” Rose swears under her breath, pushing Dave's shoulder. “Wake up, we may have a situation.”

He sits up quickly, scrambling for his own sword. He and Dirk favor the old fashioned when it comes to weaponry; even with pistols holstered to their hips and the abundance of firearms, they both still reach for their hilts when the need arises. Rose prefers the unusual, an ornate set of knitting needles picked up from some roadside shop years ago, but her own pistol is in her hands and ready as she joins her older siblings by the half-covered window. Across the sun-baked sands, a few rovers bounce over the dunes directly for them.

The group of four cars breaks into pairs as they approach, moving to both sides of the buried shack. It becomes abundantly clear they aren't just passing through when they begin circling.

“Guess it's a fight they want,” Dirk says darkly.

“I think these are the fuckers from last night,” Dave says. “All we did was let a few pissed off skags loose in their camp, damn.”

Roxy takes position in the window, firing at passing wheels and gas tanks with near perfect accuracy. The scent of gasoline tinges the hot air when Dirk opens the door, slinking out like a noonday shadow. Even with his experience and skill, Rose isn't sure how one man with a sword is going to take on four rover-fulls of bandits, but she's learned never to underestimate him.

Dave stands between Rose and the door, eyes hidden beneath his cracked sunglasses.

“You don't need to guard me,” Rose says.

“I'm not guarding you, I'm protecting you,” he replies.

Rose laughs bitterly. “You say that as if they aren't synonyms. I can take fight for myself if need be,” she says.

Dave turns to her and huffs. “I know, you're a badass and all, but you can't really go out there now and do your weird magic-y thing so we have to help you, alright?”

Rose clenches her teeth and nods, feeling like the most useless Siren in history.

A pained cry stops Rose's self pity before it truly begins. Roxy drops to the floor, muscles clenched. Rose runs over to her as the last volts of electricity run through her limbs, leaving her limp and pained.

“Fuckin... _shock weapons!_ ” she hisses, sitting up. She glares at her unmoving arm for a moment before saying, “My arm's fucked, someone's gotta go out there and shoot those assholes.”

Dave nods, taking his gun and rushing into the fray. By the sounds of it, Dirk and Roxy had made short work of most of the rovers; there are only two left still rolling.

More than anything, Rose wants to go out and help. She settles for making sure Roxy is okay. Aside from her arm not responding, she bounces back quickly. Luckily the bullet itself had bounced off the metal of her arm, leaving nothing but a dent.

It doesn't take much longer for the final rover to flee, its engine fading into the distance and leaving just the faint ticking and crackling of the burning and stalled vehicles behind.

Dirk comes back in and sets his sword aside. It takes a moment for him to notice Roxy, her arm limp in her lap.

“Apparently it ain't shock proof,” she explains. Dirk walks back out and returns with a large toolbox from the rover.

“Let's hope they didn't fry anything too important,” he mutters, flicking a panel open and revealing the twisted wires within, just as intricate as veins in flesh. “It's not like I can waltz into any damn town I please and ask for replacement parts.”

“I'll try not to get shot next time,” Roxy says dryly as Dirk removes her arm. She's left with nothing but a metal cap halfway down her bicep, old scars visible where the metal ends.

Guilt rolls through Rose and she looks away. It was because of her Roxy lost her arm. Because of her, she hadn't been looking where she was running, and had been hit by a bandit's truck. Dirk was knowledgeable enough to build her prosthetic as soon as she was able to get it fitted. She took to it easily, even decorating it with stickers and such. Despite that, Rose still feels terrible.

The sight of Roxy's mangled arm and bruised body flashed through Rose's mind and she stands.

“Excuse me,” she says, and steps outside. Concerned stares follow her out but she pays them no mind.

The heat is oppressive, dry and choking. More sand than air seems to fill her lungs as she scrambles up to the top of the shack. She's making herself obvious but she hardly cares.

As long as she is around her family, they're in danger whether she hides or not.

Not for the first time, she entertains the thought of leaving. Slipping out at night, fading into anonymity in a tiny town or settling somewhere far from anyone else. Becoming nothing more than a memory, the sadness of her siblings fading into acceptance and unspoken relief as they begin a normal, non-nomadic life. The stability and relative safety her presence denies them finally achieved.

A pang of sadness takes her breath and she quickly dismisses it as selfish. The sight of Roxy, stiff on the sandy floor as electricity runs through her, the sight of her bloody and mangled on a cracked road, the thousands of injuries all of them had sustained over the years all flooding her mind. All for her, all _because_ of her.

Staying is selfish. Sneaking away would truly be better for all of them, it was obvious. She makes up her mind, as soon as they reach the next town she would lose herself in the crowd, hide until nighttime when she can escape without being stopped.

It is the only way.

 

“I'm coming too,” Rose says with as much steel in her voice as possible as to deter any arguments. Dirk and Roxy pass a look.

“Are you sure?” Roxy asks, frowning. “It won't even be much fun there, Dirk and I are just pickin' up supplies. You and Dave should stay-”

“Aw, come on!” Dave says, his tone bordering on whiny. “Don't make us stay behind in this rust pile, let us go to!”

“It isn't fair to make Dave stay here to watch me. We are far enough away from the skag-fighting marauders that we aren't in any danger. Not to mention I haven't been around any other people in ages, I'm tired of you three,” she says, mouth twitching up into a smirk as she teases.

Roxy snorts and Dirk sighs, adjusting his shades. That's how Rose knows she's won and she brightens even before he says, “fine.”

It's a day's drive north, the desert giving way to greenery and then ice as they speed down the cracked roads. Tiny mostly-abandoned towns, marauder camps, and the strange and unfamiliar new Hyperion outposts line the road. They pass very few other vehicles, and none as visually interesting as Roxy's custom rover.

The sky is dark and glittering with stars before they reach their destination. A bustling city, compared to most on the planet, with high walls and a shielded gate protecting the shops and citizens within. Roxy drives in, passing through the shield and making everyone's hair stand on-end, and parks next to a few others in a large clearing.

“This is it!” Roxy chirps, hopping out of the driver's seat. The others follow with far less enthusiasm; somehow long drives invigorate Roxy, while draining everyone else.

“Where's a motel or somethin' because I need to pass out for roughly thirty years,” Dave says. Roxy leads the way through the still-busy streets towards the center of town until she stops in front of a dingy building. To Rose's exhausted eyes, it looks like a castle as they all head inside and use their meager funds to book a room.

The bottom floor is a bar full of patrons in various states of drunkenness, and Rose watches Roxy carefully as she navigates through the room towards the stairs. Though Roxy hasn't touched alcohol in years, she still worries.

They make it to their room without incident. Inside, there are two beds and a few dressers, an old radio, and a bathroom hidden away by a ratty curtain. Dave throws his bag in a corner and flops onto a bed, face-first.

“It it comfortable?” Rose asks, setting her bag next to his.

“Hell no,” he replies, his voice muffled by the mattress. Roxy snorts, sitting next to Dave and ruffling his coily hair. He gives a halfhearted attempt at swatting her hand away, but gives up quickly. Dirk stands there for a moment before sitting directly on Dave, to his great annoyance.

Rose can't help but laugh. Seeing her siblings so carefree is a rare occurrence. Then a shock of guilt nearly stops her heart.

Tonight, she would be leaving them. She will never see them again.

She turns away, busing herself with sorting through her bag to hide her face. Emotion threatens to spill tears from her eyes and guilt from her lips. But that would be selfish, and she has been selfish enough for one lifetime.

“You alright, Rosie?” Roxy asks, and Rose turns with a small smile.

“Yes, just tired. Perhaps we should all turn in for the night,” she says, and nobody argues. Dirk shuts off the light and all of them get into bed, Roxy next to Rose and Dirk next to Dave. Rose is thankful, Roxy is the heaviest sleeper of them all and she would have no trouble getting out of bed and through the door without her hearing.

As she lays in bed, the neon lights outside dimmed by the holey canvas curtains, Rose allows herself to cry silently. Just once. Tears flow as she thinks about her siblings, leaving them behind forever. For herself and her self-imposed exile. For the normal life none of them had been able to live because of her.

She cries, and them vows to never cry again for fear she may never stop.

 

Getting out of the room proved to be easy. Getting out of the city is the challenging part. Rose hikes her bag over her her shoulder as she stands by the gate, its massive metal door closed. Apparently the city closes after three in the morning; nobody gets in, nobody goes out. She curses this rule, despite its logicality. She turns back and walks through the empty streets, now devoid of citizens. Everyone must sleep at some point.

Eventually, she finds a bar near the gate that's still open. A few patrons still linger inside and Rose ignores them all, taking a seat at the dim bar and sighing. She would have to wait hours for the gates to open again at six.

“Hey, sugar,” the pretty bartender says. “Can I get you anything?”

Rose hesitates, then nods. Perhaps it's self destructive of her to drown her nerves in whiskey, but she hardly cares as it burns its way down her throat. She does have the presence of mind not to order a second one; she needs to be alert.

The hours pass slowly. The bartender makes small talk occasionally, but Rose hardly holds a conversation with her. A million times, she considers returning to the motel. A million times, she calls herself selfish. Only once does she regret not leaving a note. A note would only make them more eager to bring her home. It's best that she disappears like this.

When she hears the sound of the gates lowering, she leaves quickly. Her siblings weren't going to wake up for another few hours, but Rose wanted to get as far away as possible.

She can see it now. Dirk will wake up first, running his hands through his hair and heading to the bathroom. He'll stop by the bed when he sees Roxy alone, sprawled out across the mattress and snoring loudly. Dirk will wake her up, as where Rose has gone. Then they wake up Dave. Nobody knows where she is. For a while they will sit and wait, hoping she will return on her own with an excuse they will ignore and chide her for. When she doesn’t return, they panic and begin scouring the city. By nightfall they will leave, racing down the roads to find a hint of her.

She hopes to be long gone by then.

The early morning air is cool on her face. Being this far north means no more sweltering mornings, but far more freezing nights. A heavy coat takes up much of the space in her bag, and thick tights are already making her legs a bit too warm to be completely comfortable. She plans to head deep into the tundra, where few people live. She would be safe there. She would be alone there.

In the distance, the sun begins throwing its rays across the landscape. Rose hides her face from its light and walks quickly away from the city as it begins waking up.

 

By mid-afternoon, Rose feels as if she is crawling along the side of the road. She isn't used to walking so far, Roxy's rover had taken all of them wherever they needed to be for as long as she could remember. The straps of her bag dig into her shoulders. The city had long ago disappeared over the horizon, but Rose still feels as if she hasn't gone anywhere at all. The sun is high overhead, and though it isn't nearly as harsh as it is in the desert, sweat still trails its way down her back and her covered arms.

In short, Rose is hating every aspect of this. She breaks off from the road, towards a cluster of jagged rocks, and sits down in the shade, hidden from the road. Hugging her knees close, she glares up into the sky, at the faraway Rakks that swoop through the air on their leathery wings, at the sparse clouds that pass in front of the midday moon.

Settling in, she allows herself ten minutes to rest. Six minutes later she is asleep, the exhaustion of her trek and her lack of sleep the night before catching up to her quickly.

 

The rumbling of a vehicle on the road startles from her sleep a few hours later. She sits up quickly and then ducks back down, hiding as best as she can. Darkness is beginning to blur the world around her, the car a distant spot of light on the road she had already traveled. She ducks behind the rocks again, listening to the distant rumble of the engine as it approaches. As it gets closer, she doesn't look up. When it fades into the distance, leaving silence it its wake, she doesn't try to make it out in the distance.

She doesn't want to see whether or not the paint is a chipped shade of bubblegum pink, the bed of the truck holding two blonds with worried faces. She doesn't want to know. Knowing that they are out there looking for her won't help matters. Thinking about them only hurts.

She picks up her bag and continues on her way.

 

Traveling at night, while more convenient, is more dangerous. The moon is bright overhead, illuminating the world around her and throwing deep blue shadows. It is silent, the fauna around her asleep for the night.

Or so she thought.

Beneath her feet, the ground begins shifting. She steps up onto the paved road, her pistol in her hands before she can figure out what is about to attack.

Behind her, on the other side of the road, a spiderant bursts from the ground in a shower of dirt. Bright blue and heavily armored at its front, the huge four legged insect rushes at her. She kicks out as she dodges it, shooting at its weak and unarmored thorax. It turns quickly and seems to screech at her, jumping forward and slashing. Ducking, she shoots again, and it explodes with a scream and a rain of blood. Rose holds back a gag, wiping the bug guts from her clothes and face as she stands.

Where there's one spiderant, there's an entire swarm. Her pistol still in hand, she continues on.

 

Days pass, the afternoons colder and nights longer. She has already begun wearing her heavy jacket as she walks. Exhaustion numbs her legs as she trudges onward, a tiny ramshackle village the only thing she sees. She's prepared to run at the first sign of movement, but prays to whatever dark gods may be listening that it's abandoned. After several consecutive nights of sleeping underneath rocky, icy outcroppings, the smooth packed dirt of a shack sounds heavenly.

She could weep with relief when she finds the buildings are empty. She walks through the abandoned shacks. Tattered cloth draped over doorless archways and glassless windows reach towards her like hands of the dead. The wind, bitingly cold in the night and sending dagger-like snowflakes at her exposed skin, seems to push her inside the smallest shed. It's still freezing, but being sheltered from the wind is all she really needs.

She tosses her bag aside and sits on the floor, her tired feet throbbing. It couldn't be much longer until she feels she's far enough north to never be found, but the journey is tiring her to the bone.

At some point, her eyes slip closed of their own volition.

 

Thudding and rowdy voices jerk her awake, her hands on her needles before she can even open her eyes. The sound of the marauders surrounds her and sets her heart into overdrive, thudding against her ribs. Taking on some animals or one lone asshole is one thing, taking on a whole group is another. She sits frozen on the cold floor, eyes darting between the open door and window. A real blizzard had started while she was asleep, throwing the voices around until she can't be certain how close they are.

The curtain in front of the doorway swings open, and there stands a marauder, bloodstained and armed. His face is obscured by goggles and a scarf, but his anger is palpable. Rose grabs her bag and rushes him before he can pull a weapon, but his shouts alert the rest.

For a moment, nobody moves. The wind howls and Rose glares at the dozen bandits around her. Then the shooting starts, somewhere to her left. She dodges, but more bullets begin flying. Keeping low, she pulls out her pistol and returns fire while running. Her heart is in her throat, frantic beats choking her-

A sharp and hot pain grabs her leg and she stumbles with a cry. She rolls behind a building and grasps the profusely bleeding bullet wound.

“Oh, curse them all,” she hisses under her breath. The blue markings on her arm begin to glow, and before she can think about what she's doing, she stands and leaves her cover.

The bullets begin raining down on her again for just a moment before she raises her hands like a conductor raising a baton in front of an orchestra.

There is a moment of confused silence before ghostly glowing blue tentacles burst from the ground, writhing, reaching towards the marauders faster than their eyes could follow. Grabbing them, tearing through them, squeezing them until their ribs snap with sick cracks and gargled cries.

It is over before it really began, and the shantytown is silent.

Rose collapses, from exhaustion or pain she isn't sure. She fades out of consciousness and wonders if she will ever wake up.

 

She's warm. Orange light is diffused by her eyelids, shifting slightly. A fire. She's covered with a soft blanket. The scent of something cooking is what finally convinces her to open her eyes.

A young woman stands by the fireplace. Not a local, if her gray skin and orange horns are anything to go by, but locals aren't very common anyway. However, Rose had never seen anyone quite like her before.

She's very tall, black hair cut short and flared outwards in a way that looks both perfect and completely effortless. Her horns, one long and curved and the other one bent in a hook at the end, seem wickedly sharp. Rose can't see her face from her position, but she doesn't feel like moving to get a better look. Right now, she's content to soak in the comfort.

But only for another minute.

She sits up. Clearing her throat, Rose throws her legs over the side of the cot, ignoring the throbbing pain movement sends through her. The woman turns with wide yellow and green eyes.

“Oh, you're awake,” she says. “How are you feeling?”

“My leg hurts a bit, but being shot will do that,” she says. “Otherwise, I am fine. Who are you?”

“Kanaya Maryam,” she says with a nod. “I'm glad you are okay.” She speaks with a strange buzzing, clicking undertone and a lilting accent. Rose can't help but notice that she has a nice voice.

“A pleasure to meet you, Kanaya. My name is Rose Lalonde.”

With pleasantries exchanged, Kanaya goes back to the fire and Rose looks around. The house around her is well lived in, a single room with old furniture and worn metal walls. Books and random items sit on battered wooden shelves. Strands of multicolored lights hang from the ceiling, dimly lit. It's warm and cozy and Rose almost feels like going back to sleep. Before she can really entertain the thought, Kanaya is handing her a steaming bowl.

“You look rather ragged, you need your strength,” she says. Something in her tone makes it obvious that she won't be taking _no thank you_ for an answer, and Rose takes the bowl with a grateful nod. It seems to be a vegetable stew and Rose drinks it quickly, not realizing just how hungry she was. Kanaya eats hers more slowly, and refills Rose's bowl without prompting.

When Rose finishes, she studies Kanaya. “So, why save a stranger? Why bring someone in the midst of a marauder town into your home?”

“Because you are no mere marauder,” Kanaya says, and glances deliberately at Rose's covered arm. She stiffens.

“Did you see?” Rose asks, her fear sapping the warmth from the room.

“Yes, but don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you or turn you in or anything of the sort, I promise. Though I feel that, even if that were my intention, I wouldn't be able to harm you considering how quickly you took out that gang. I must admit, I was just... curious.”

“Curious,” Rose repeats slowly. If she were lying, she wouldn't have brought her in, fed her and tended her wound. If she were after a Siren, she would have turned her in, or worse, long before.

Still, letting herself be seen while using her powers was a serious lapse of judgment on her part; after years of carefulness one mistake gave her away.

“Okay, Kanaya. If you truly did have ill intent, it would have been apparent by now. Thank you for all you've done for me, I promise I will leave just as soon as I can,” Rose says finally.

“Alone?” Kanaya asks with a frown. “Don't you have anyone with you? There is safety in numbers.”

“No. It's for the best that I travel alone,” Rose says, smiling bitterly. “I'm sure you can piece together why.”

Sighing sadly, Kanaya nods. “I suppose. I will send you on your way with supplies though.”

“You're too kind,” Rose says, and it's more of a direct observation than a display of thankfulness.

“Perhaps. But the universe is unkind enough as it is, I don't feel the need to add to the misery,” she says simply, collecting Rose's bowl and placing it in the sink.

Rose watches her, her mind turning over what she said. Kanaya is like nobody she had ever met. It's a shame she can't stay longer and get to know her better.

 

Rose wakes up the next morning better rested than she has ever felt. Morning light streams in through the gaps in the cloth covering the windows, supplemented by the glowing embers of the night's fire. Kanaya is nowhere to be seen.

Just as she sits up, the door opens, letting in the freezing air and killing the fire completely.

“Good morning,” Kanaya says, setting down a bushel of tundra vegetables and herbs that Rose can't make heads or tails of. She quickly remakes the fire and it warms the room within a few minutes.

When Rose gets tired of watching, she stands. She can't put her full weight on her leg, but she can hobble around. Kanaya watches her out of the corner of her eye while she prepares food and Rose limps over.

“Let me help,” she says. Kanaya turns to her fully, eyebrows raised.

“Are you sure? You need rest,” she says.

“I have never once rested in my entire life,” Rose scoffs. “It's really the least I can do.”

Kanaya shrugs and hands her a knife, pushing a group of veggies in front of her.

“Peel and dice these,” she says, and returns to her own work.

Now would be a terrible time to admit that Rose has no idea how to do either of those things, but she does her best. She takes much of the actual meat of the vegetable with the skin and they end up looking lumpy and uneven compared to Kanaya's work, but Kanaya still looks grateful.

“So,” Rose says eventually. “Where exactly are we?”

“A few miles from the nearest town, if it can truly be called that. Just within what most would consider inhospitable territory, but I've never minded,” Kanaya replies without looking up.

“It must be lonely,” Rose observes.

Kanaya glances at her. “And living a nomadic lifestyle on your own isn't?”

“Touche.”

They lapse into silence again and Kanaya finishes first. She takes a few from Rose's pile, and Rose does her best not to look relieved.

“How long have you been traveling?” Kanaya asks.

Rose hesitates. “Not very long. How long have you lived alone?”

A pained expression crosses Kanaya's face and Rose immediately regrets her hasty question.

“Not nearly as long as it feels,” she says quietly. She doesn't offer an explanation and Rose doesn't ask. Clearly it's a sore spot for her.

The two finish their work silently and Kanaya urges Rose back to bed. She complies without hesitation, propping her injured leg up. It would be another week at least until Rose can continue her trek, but hopefully she wouldn't need to go much further. Out the window, she can see mountains in the distance, presumably full of caves in which she could make a shelter.

The wind howls forlornly as she contemplates her new life. The cave would be well within the mountain, but well ventilated so she could have fires for light and heat. Every so often she would head into the town, gather supplies for as long as possible, and retreat to her home.

Perhaps she would see Kanaya sometimes, exchange a nod in the streets before they part ways for another year of solitude.

She turns away from the window.

 

Helping Kanaya with food quickly becomes a daily routine. It had become a game of sorts between them to ask whatever question came to mind while they peeled and chopped. It passed the time quickly, and it was thrilling to know things about each other.

In that time Rose learns what she can. Kanaya is an avid gardener and grows and cultivates produce that can survive in the sub-zero temperatures. In the summer, she grows other things in a small greenhouse and preserves them for the rest of the year. She enjoys fashion, despite the impracticality of such a hobby in a place where clothes tend to be more utilitarian than decorative. Whenever she goes into town, she buys whatever books are available, along with whatever pretty thing catches her eye, even if it costs more than she can spare. She was born on another planet she doesn't know the name of, but was brought to Pandora when she was very young.

It's more information than she could have ever hoped for, and she keeps the given facts about Kanaya close to her heart. In any other circumstances, Kanaya could have been her best friend, or perhaps more. She doesn't allow herself to think about it.

A week later, her limp is less pronounced and she can stand putting weight on her leg for minutes at a time before the pain becomes too uncomfortable.

It's unspoken between the two of them, as they slice vegetables, that this would be the last day Rose would be staying.

“Where were you born?” Kanaya asks. It seemed like a safe enough question to answer.

“Rather far south, in a coastal town. We couldn't stay long though, once it was obvious what I am,” she says. She sets a potato down in the pile. Far better than her first attempts, but nowhere near as perfect as Kanaya's.

“We?” Kanaya asks, and Rose freezes. How much was she willing to give away?

“Yes...” she says slowly. “My siblings and I. My mother died and my father left. I was raised by my older brother and sister.”

It hurts to mention them. She lets herself wonder, for just a second, what they could be doing. There's no way they have given up yet, desperately searching every likely place for a clue to her whereabouts. She swallowed back tears and brought herself back to the present, where Kanaya was watching her sympathetically. Rose gave her a tight-lipped smile and went back to her work.

“Is it possible you could visit them? I have a runner, we could get where ever they are in a few days,” Kanaya offers.

“I can't,” Rose says. “We were always on the road. We never stayed anywhere. I doubt they've settled down yet, but even if they have I'm not sure where they would go.” Her voice is flat, hands steady. All of the emotion she feels is locked away again. “It's for the best that I don't know where they are.”

“What do you mean?” Kanaya asks, and the hint of sharpness in her words startles Rose.

“I mean, if I knew where they were I would feel the urge to return,” she says without thinking. Kanaya sets her knife down and crosses her arms.

“Do they know where you are?” she asks slowly.

Rose looks away. “No. I ran away.”

The answer hangs heavily. Unfamiliar anger seems to radiate from Kanaya as she takes a step backwards. Her face is drawn tight, deep green eyes narrowed and sending daggers at Rose.

“You left them without even telling them goodbye? You left them wondering what became of you, if you are even alive?” she asks, voice wavering.

Having it said out loud makes Rose feel small and stupid, but she straightens her back and stares Kanaya down.

“I did. It was selfish of me to stay and endanger them any more than I already have,” she says. “You don't understand what pain they went through to keep me safe, I couldn't-”

“Bullshit!” Kanaya spits, and that startles Rose into stunned silence. Kanaya so rarely swore in front of her, and it shocked Rose to her core. “You don't know what I do or don't understand, do not make assumptions. How dare you be so selfish as to terrify them this way? Don't you understand how much they love you? If they had wanted you gone, if they had wanted to live a life of safety, they would have left you somewhere years ago!”

Pale green tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes, her face going dark green with anger. Any fear Rose felt turned to anger as Kanaya growled her accusations.

Without a word, Rose grabbed her bag, put on her boots, and left.

The wind was harsher than anything she had experienced before, the snow solid and icy beneath her booted feet. Hot tears flowed down her face and froze to her cheeks. She though about nothing but the mountains in the distance, keeping her eyes straight ahead. She did not look back.

She _had_ to run. If she had stayed around, they would have ended up dead. Someday they will stop missing her, someday they will know her disappearance was for the best. She knows this.

But with Kanaya's rage fresh in her mind, she finds it harder to convince herself.

A few minutes of walking later, she hears a rumble. A boulder is lobbed past her, missing by only a few feet. She whirls around, nearly slipping, as a huge four legged beast runs towards her. It roars and grabs another rock from the ground, hurtling it towards Rose with deadly accuracy. She stumbles out of the way and reaches for her pistol as the giant creature sprinted closer.

She left it inside Kanaya's house.

She is too turned around, and the snowfall too thick, to remember what direction her house was in. Only one thing to do. She plants her feet and begins to raise her hands, but is stopped when the creature picks up another boulder. Scrambling out of the way, she tries again. Feet planted, arms raised-

The roar of something else stops her cold.

A dark figure speeds towards the creature, a gleaming chainsaw in their hands, and slashes at it. Blood seeps through the creature's matter fur and it raises an arm to retaliate. The figure takes their chance, driving the chainsaw forward and down, raining blood and guts onto the white snow.

Rose's heart is pounding as she stands dumbstruck. The figure walks toward her, and then she realizes who her savior is.

“I did say this area was inhospitable,” Kanaya says. “It isn't just the climate. Bullymongs are native and thriving here.”

She turns without another word and Rose follows, limping.

Once inside Kanaya's house, Rose sits down in front of the fire.

“I'm sorry,” she says quietly, and Kanaya joins her.

“It isn't me who should be hearing your apologies,” she says. The two stare into the fire, the crackling of wood the only sound for several minutes. The shivers that radiated from Rose subsided in the silence.

“Perhaps what I said was harsh, but I was not incorrect,” Kanaya finally says. “My mother was an escapee. Although I don't remember it, she had always told me our home planet was unkind, especially to those who were born outside of the norm.”

Rose listens silently. Kanaya's tone is halting, the words seeming unfamiliar as they fall.

“My mother was a Siren,” she says, and that gets Rose to look up. Kanaya is watching her, eyes sad. “She hid it for years, from those she worked with in the place my kind were born. When she saw me, so similar to her in appearance, she panicked and ran. She escaped our home planet and ended up here. Even though I never developed Siren powers, she still kept us hidden.”

Pain colors her words and Rose has to look away. Guilt is rearing its ugly head again and she bites her cheek to keep back the tears that threaten to fall.

“When I was just old enough to take care of myself, she left. She had been sad and distant for many years beforehand. I think she was homesick. I woke up one day and I was alone. I have been alone ever since.”

Rose can't think of what to say. Kanaya draws her legs up to her chest and closes her eyes.

“Every day, I still hope that she will return. Every day I miss her. Do you understand now, Rose? You never truly leave people behind. There is always something left, be it sadness, or worry, or anger.”

“I understand,” Rose says, and then she's sobbing. She can't control the harsh, ragged breaths and the hot tears that fall. Kanaya hugs her, pets her back as she shudders.

When she's exhausted herself, Kanaya lets her go. Despite their proximity to the fire, Rose feels colder.

“We need to sleep,” Kanaya says, standing and settling into her chair. “Tomorrow, we will talk more.”

Rose is too tired to argue, laying in bed and wrapping herself up in the blanket. She feels empty and cold and lonely. Regret plagues her mind as she falls into an uneasy sleep.

 

The next day does not start with the preparation of vegetables. It starts with Kanaya gathering supplies into several bags while Rose helps.

It's time for Rose to go back to her family.

Kanaya's home is dark and unfamiliar without the fire or lit string of lights. The open door lets snow collect on the metal floor, eager to retake every inch of land it had been denied by the shelter. Kanaya writes a note and leaves it folded on the table. She doesn't mention it and Rose doesn't ask. She follows Rose out and locks the door behind her.

Kanaya's modified runner is a deep shade of green. Smaller than Roxy's rover, but it looks much faster, more sleek and aerodynamic. Rose hopes so. Now that she's looking for her siblings, she can't get moving soon enough. Kanaya seems to sense her urgency and hops in, leaving just enough room for Rose to sit beside her, pressed against her side.

“It took me a little over a week on foot to get this far from the city, by car it shouldn't take too long,” Rose says. Kanaya starts and they speed off, kicking up snow. The windshield barely stops the frigid wind and biting snowflakes, and Rose brings her borrowed scarf up higher on her face.

The mountains disappear in the distance as they speed away.

 

It really was a much shorter ride back to the city, much shorter than Rose could have hoped for. They drove all day and through the night, and made it by the next evening. Rose jumps out and Kanaya follows, a comforting presence.

Despite the unfamiliarity of the city, Rose still makes her way to the motel quickly. The bar downstairs seems completely unchanged, down to its patrons. The bartender, a surly looking man, barely looks at Rose as she describes her siblings.

“Dunno who you're talkin' about,” he grumbles, and moves down the bar to refill a drink. Rose balls her hands into fists and takes a deep breath. Kanaya puts a hand on her shoulder and pulls her away, whispering in her ear.

“I get the feeling he wouldn't remember in a week you even if you proclaimed you are a Siren right here and now,” she says. Rose sighs and nods. They leave quickly and Rose stops on the sidewalk.

“They could be anywhere,” she says, swallowing thickly. “Searching for me. I'm such an idiot,” Rose says, and Kanaya takes her hands.

“Now is not the time to lose hope,” she says. “We will keep looking, they have to have left something in hopes you would return.”

Rose nods, and then an idea forms.

“There's one place we could check,” she says, and leads Kanaya by the hand towards the city gates.

The bar is much more active in the evening compared to the middle of the night, and the pretty bartender seems much busier. However, a spark of recognition still registers in her eyes when Rose walks in.

“Oh, hello you. I had a feeling you would turn up again,” she says as Rose comes up to the bar.

“I'm looking for some people,” Rose says.

“And some people are looking for you.” The bartender leans forward, her heavily lined eyes intense. “Your brother said that they would wait as long as they could back home. He said there would not be an inch of this planet they will not scour until they are all sure you're okay.”

She stands up straight again and nods. “Hurry, go find 'em. That was a few weeks ago.”

Only Kanaya's hand on her shoulder keeps Rose from collapsing with relief. They were waiting for her. They had left a message. She knew where to look now. With a hasty thank you, Rose and Kanaya hurry out.

“Our hometown is a few hundred miles south of here; if we hurry it shouldn't take more than a few days,” Rose says as they run towards Kanaya's runner. She stops, out of breath and aching, once they reach the vehicle. She looks up at Kanaya with a frown.

“Are you going to keep helping, knowing how far away it is?” she asks. It's only fair that she gives Kanaya an out considering she would be going so far from home.

“Of course,” Kanaya says without hesitation. She looks just as determined as Rose feels. Rose can't keep herself from hugging Kanaya in elation.

The long trip passes faster than Rose could have hoped for, with very few stops along the way. When Kanaya got too tired to drive, Rose took the wheel.

Even so, Rose was terrified of finding nothing but heartbreak. She wasn't sure how long they would wait before looking for her.

Knowing her siblings, she couldn't count on too long. She had already been gone three weeks.

The sun is just beginning to rise when the city becomes visible in the distance. The runner is speeding along the road, colorful vegetation flashing by as Rose cranes her neck to see down the cliff side. Shacks and houses press against the waterside and boats bob next to the docks. It looks nearly exactly how it did when she left all those years ago.

“Is that it?” Kanaya asks, voice raised over the sound of the rushing wind.

“Yes,” Rose says, and Kanaya urges the runner faster, clearly excited to get down there.

As they draw closer, Rose notices another vehicle on the road below them.

A bright pink rover.

“That's Roxy! That's my sister!” Rose cries, grabbing onto Kanaya's arm. Her heart is pounding, she's so close now, they were less than a mile below and headed upwards. She keeps driving as fast as the runner would take them, headed straight towards the rover.

“What's you plan?” Rose yells.

“We need to get her to stop,” Kanaya says. “We'll become a roadblock once they're closer.”

Rose nods, half standing and keeping her eyes on the pink rover. Her hair whips around her face, eyes narrowed against the wind.

Sit!” Kanaya commands, and Rose drops just as Kanaya steps on the breaks. Rose braces against the dashboard as the runner skids to a stop with a smoky squeal of tires. As soon as possible, Rose stands in the seat, the only sounds around being her racing heart and Roxy's rover, getting louder as it crests the hill.

She waves her arms wildly and the rover speeds up before stopping suddenly, just in front of Kanaya's runner. It isn't even completely stopped before Dave jumps out of the back, running down the road. Rose does the same, and is nearly tackled to the ground by the force of Dave's hug.

“You're okay, you're fucking okay, I knew it,” he was saying, balling her shirt in his fists. A moment later, there was another set of arms around her, one heavy and cold, and the sound of a tearful voice.

“Goddamn it Rosie, don't scare us like that!” Roxy nearly sobs.

Dirk joins in a second later. Rose is surrounded by arms and the quiet babble of her ever talkative family. She can't imagine how she ever thought she would survive apart from them.

“Who's that?” Roxy asks, tone slightly suspicious. Rose separates herself from the group embrace just enough to see Kanaya, standing awkwardly by her runner.

“Her name is Kanaya, she helped me. She talked some much needed sense into me and helped me get here,” Rose says softly. She reluctantly extracts herself fully and walks up to Kanaya.

Her expression is soft as Rose approaches.

“You may think of yourself as an intellectual, but you are so dumb, Rose Lalonde,” she says fondly. Rose laughs.

“Perhaps. Thank you, Kanaya. I don't think I would have ever found them without you.”

Kanaya ducks her head. “No need to thank me, it seems obvious that you would have returned on your own.”

She sounds oddly forlorn and Rose looks up at her. She takes her hand and Kanaya smiles sadly.

“I don't think my mother will be coming home. If she wanted to, or if she was able, she would have. I think I already knew that.” She clears her throat and shakes her head before the tears have a chance to form. “I'm ruining your happy family moment, you should go to them,” she says with a fleeting smile, taking a step back.

“Is this goodbye?” Rose asks, terrified of the answer. Finding her siblings just to lose Kanaya seemed unfair. Now that she had lived with her, no matter how short the time, she realizes she doesn't want to live without her.

Instead of answering, Kanaya puts her hand out as if expecting a handshake. Rose raises her eyebrows, looking between the offered hand and Kanaya's face.

As impulsive as ever, Rose grabs Kanaya's hand, pulling her down until their lips meet. There is no hesitation; Kanaya returns the kiss eagerly, her lips warm and soft. They both very resolutely ignore the shouts and whistles from the Strilondes behind them. The only thing that exists is the space between them, Kanaya's lips and her hands and her heartbeat.

“How do you feel about traveling?” Rose asks when they break apart.

“I am very open to the idea,” Kanaya replies, slightly breathless. Rose smiles.

“Then you should meet my siblings. I feel we all have much to discuss.”

Hand in hand, Rose and Kanaya walk towards the others. Things will continue to be dangerous. They will always be on the move. But they will all be together, and that's all Rose really wants.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [blog](https://clockwork-dinosaur.tumblr.com/)


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